Kids and the Things They Say

**This is K in the A-Z series**

It's no secret that I have the most funny, smart, and charming Aspie for a son. And it's also no secret that he says some of the most awesome things ever if you are my facebook friend. So I thought I'd write a little ode to some of the best things Noah has said to me over the years. Oh how I love this kid and all the things he says that no doubt originate from his amazing little mind.

Recently we were discussing bad words that aren't actually bad words. I'm not even sure how we got on the subject because we initially were reading scriptures together as a family. I think maybe we came across the word 'ass' or something in reference to a donkey. Anyway, Noah informed us that the word 'bitch' actually means female dog. We all had a good laugh over that and I was very amused that Noah was so entertained by the real meaning of the word 'bitch'. It was all fun and games until a little while later, when our dog Sonya walked into the room, he turned to her and said, "Hi Bitch!". And then it wasn't so funny anymore. There is no way I can remember all the witty and hilarious things he has said both intentionally and unintentionally, but here are some I can remember at the moment.

-When Noah was 3, he was obsessed with the state of Texas. I'm sure it was because that is where my parents live and he completely adores his Mimi and Papu. He used to sigh wistfully and say with more than a hint of longing, "Mom, Texas is the best planet ever". I never bothered to correct him, it was too darn cute.

-Joe used to let Noah play the game Metroid when he was about 3 years old (I know, parenting award of the year here). Every time the game character was walking through acid rain, he would turn to me and say, "Mom, I'm going through the ass of rain!". And he was so excited about it, like it was the coolest thing ever. The way he said acid rain never really bothered me, I thought it was cute.

-Noah was not a confident bum wiper until he was probably 6 years old. I can remember when he was 4, he told us he did not want to grow up. When we asked him why, he said, "I don't ever want to grow up because I don't want to ever wipe my own bum". Thankfully this was just a phase and he did eventually master this toileting skill :). I think he's realized that bum wiping is far from the worst thing we face as adults.

-Just the other night he was frustrated that we were making him practice piano. He threw his arms up in the air, put on his biggest pout, and said, "I'm just unfit for piano! Unfit!!". He's not, but he got to go all of spring break without practicing so I think it was hard for him to start again.

-Once, when Noah was younger, Joe asked him if he'd like a piece of cheese. He replied, "Dad, I don't have time for cheese" and even completed it with an eye roll.

I wish I could think of more. There have been so many Noahisms over the years. Let's just say that this boy keeps us entertained all the time :).