April 06, 2012

'F' is for Food

**This is F in the A-Z series**

Have you ever wanted to eat something like, oh, I don't know, wood? Or drywall? I have had the desire to eat these things with each of my pregnancies. Often I would stop in Home Depot just for the smell of cut wood. I would walk in the door and immediately begin salivating. As I made my way over to the 4x4's, I would imagine taking a big, juicy bite right out of one of them. Now thankfully I knew better than to actually eat a 4x4, but that doesn't change the fact that I wanted to. Each time I went to the doctor, I would hang my head and admit that, yes, I still wanted to eat wood. And each time I would earn myself a prick on the finger so that a single drop of my blood could be tested for iron. And each time, my iron was fine (the urge to eat strange things in pregnancy can be a sign of anemia). Apparently I just want to eat wood when I'm pregnant.

I had never experienced this phenomenon when I wasn't pregnant...until recently. Ironically enough, it was shortly after my pregnancy was completed that I experienced the urge to eat wood again. Or to eat anything really. And by anything I mean drywall, dirt, finger nail clippings (okay, I'm exaggerating with this one), you get the idea.  Now let me tell you why.

As with the birth of my other two children, after little Cora made her grand entrance into the world, I was left with a good 30 pounds to lose. I'm pretty self concious when I'm chubby like that and basically, I just can't get comfortable in my own skin. So off I went to weight watchers to drop the weight in a sensible way appropriate for breast feeding women. I did indeed start dropping weight, but it was sooooo slooooooow. Like a half a pound per week. Talk about frustrating. My sisters-in-law breast feed for twot weeks and lose all their pregnancy weight (yes, I know I'm exaggerating again, but in this case, just a little bit). Honestly, why can't my body get a clue like theirs?
I'm a believer in weight watchers, I really am. That's how I dropped the weight after I had Isabella. The difference between now and then is that now we had a beach vacation planned just several months after the birth of little Cora. With Isabella, I gave myself a good year to lose the weight. This time around, no such luck. This led me to make a pretty drastic decision. I was going to try the infamous HCG diet. I went to my family doctor, he prescribed me the hormone, and I began the diet. I knew I was going to have to quite breastfeeding, but since Cora was already five months old and we had been supplementing, I was fine with that.

The diet started off well enough. Especially since I *had* to gorge myself on anything fattening and delicious for two days before the start of the starvation part. Believe it or not the 48 hour gorging left me feeling so disgusting that I couldn't wait for the 500 calories a day meal plan to begin. The first several days went amazingly well and aside from a constant, low level headache, I felt fine. And I started dropping weight like it was going out of style.

And then along came week number two out of almost six weeks of this "diet". Suddenly, like when I was pregnant, wood and drywall started looking mighty appetizing. I considered that maybe just a small nibble from the corner of the bathroom wall would be fine. After all, it was a hidden spot and there was certainly no starch, sugar, or calories in it to ruin my diet. Seemed like a win-win to me. But my better sense prevailed and I left the bathroom drywall unscathed. By week three, my two cats who generally attempt to make my face their bed began keeping a healthy distance and a watchful eye on me. Especially the cat that has a weight problem. Perhaps the looks I gave her were betraying the inner thoughts I was having that roasted cat might actually taste good. By the time week four came around, my son's frosted flakes began to resemble manna from Heaven and the cats were no longer occupying the same rooms as me. It was about this time that I became extremely skeptical of all the online "testimonies" I had read from others who supposedly completed the diet that said things like, "I never felt better in my life than when I was on this diet, I wish it could go on forever!". Liars, all of them.

But to make an already long story just a little bit shorter, I completed the diet. I went all 40 days and never went past my 500 calories or ate prohibited foods. I lost 23 pounds which was nearly all the baby weight except five or six stragglers that want to stubbornly hang out around my hips and belly. It's fine though, they'll keep me warmer in the winter. I've kept it off without much trouble so I guess I can say I'm glad I did it. Joe and I will leave for our trip in a few days and to his great relief I won't wear one of his giant t-shirts over my swimsuit. Although, no bikinis for me. When I went to buy new suits, I still chose sensible tankinis to hide my flaws ;).  I am extremely proud of myself for actually finishing something hard. I tend to be a real giver-upper. I'm gonna stop one step short of recommending this diet however. Next time, if there is a next time, I think I'll stick with weight watchers.


  1. I could never diet. It sounds so hard. I can relate to the cravings though. Dirt, sawdust, sandstone . . . Mmmm!

  2. You can always roll up the tankini ;) Stretch marks and flab are DEAD SEXY!!!

  3. My favorite pica moment is always in musty all-cement stairwells. The kind that go from the underground parking garage to the lobby. mmmmm . . . .

  4. Never had the desire to eat non-food items like you mention, but I've heard of that.

    I'm adding your link to my A to Z Blog Post for Sunday April 8th.

    A Few Words
    An A to Z Co-host blog


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